gratitude and a few updates...

Updates!  Long time, no see.  We moved, both had yucky colds and have been working too, too much.  Here's a few pics of some projects we've been working on at home.  Dan has been Bob the Builder, putting up shelves in the kitchen and I've been channeling Martha and making gifts for our baby friends who are turning 1!

Our cozy, cottage-y kitchen

I made my first tutu! It was so fun and easy! I bought enough tulle to make a million more!

This month, I have felt extra love and extra blessings from friends and family during our journey to starting a family.  I am humbled, overjoyed and speechless at the kindnesses bestowed upon me by those I love so dearly.  Below from left to right, are some special trinkets that keep me present, spiritual and mindful...A St Gerard pendant and prayer (the patron saint of those trying to conceive, for pregnancy and for mothers in general).  A gorgeous print from the Fertile Garden (www.thefertilegarden.etsy.com), my new favorite page.  I opened my etsy package from the Fertile Garden and inside was a lovely print and prayer I didn't expect.  I felt the package came with alot of shared sentiments and love.  I wear my St Gerard pendant daily now and it keeps me hopeful.  The lovely lady from the Fertile Garden also sent a smudge stick to cleanse the energy in the house and our bodies...sounds crunchy, but look who you're dealing with :)  The smudge stick came with a sweet sticker that said "baby dust and positive thoughts headed your way."  So thoughtful.

Dear Elaine, a wonderful family friend sent me a thoughtful card and brought me to tears with what was inside.  It was her mother, Gramma Joanie's, St Gerard prayer booklet from probably 50 years ago.  Joanie was very special to me and she is watching down from heaven, smiling bright.  Handling the tea stained, delicate pages of this prayer book filled my heart with so much emotion, there were no words.  Joanie brought 7 of the most incredible people into this world and I am hopeful that praying with her prayer book will bless me the same.

My best friend, Katie, had mailed me a card over a month ago, but it got lost in the mail during our move.  I finally received it after it was forwarded by the post office yesterday.  Inside were beautiful verses she wrote on notecards with lovely baby themed embellishments.  I felt her love bursting off the page and it melted my heart and softened my fears and worries.  Some of my favorite verses that she sent: 

"Wait for the Lord, be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord" - Psalm 27:14

"Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you" - Jeremiah 1:5

"You show me the path of life.  In your presence there is fullness and joy" - Psalm 16:11

"For this child I have prayed and the Lord has granted my request" - 1 Samuel 1:27

"From his abundance we have all received one blessing after another" - John 1:16

Katie is so spirit filled and I am grateful for her friendship, love and prayers.  She always brings me up when the fear kicks in and I know she will love our babies someday as we will.  I love her beautiful girls as my own and I am aching for us to share in the journey of motherhood together.

Just when I thought I couldn't get any more love, a dear friend offered something that has no price, no words to describe the selfless love behind her kindness.  She said if we are "not blessed with a big ol' soccer team" soon that she would love to be our surrogate.  There. Are. No. Words.  She went on to say that while she and her partner are not quite ready to start their own family yet that she'd be willing to do anything to help us start ours.  I was brought to my knees.  Tears of love would not stop flowing.   I didn't even have the head to call her because I was a bumbling mess of tears and still am as I write this.  Dan and I are so incredibly blessed.  Your friends and family tend to show their truest colors when things aren't rosy and you need them most.  I am the luckiest girl in the world.  I hope to not have to take her offer quite yet as that would be a great emotional and physical investment on both parties.  Just knowing we have options and friends that would love us that much is priceless.  To all out there trying to start their own family, take heart, you are not alone.  Accept the love given to you.  Count your blessings even when the light seems dim.  I won't stop praying and won't stop trying until the Lord blesses us with a family.  He says, knock and the door will be opened, right?  I'm gonna have raw knuckles from pounding on his door that's for sure...