february...

February was a fresh start.  A funny time for a fresh start, with the world still and chilly, Spring seems to be forever away.  But, a great start indeed.

photo courtesy of JayHell on Etsy

photo courtesy of craftsanddogs on Etsy

courtesy of augustempress.com on Pinterest

Thanks to my amazing mother, her generosity, & her dedication to helping her grandchild be with us Earthside, I started weekly acupuncture treatments at my favorite acupuncture joint, The Nest on Rockwell in Chicago.  Dan and I have done acupuncture on and off for the last 5 years.  I fell in love with the Nest as the lovely ladies there specialize in fertility, women's health, pregnancy, pediatrics, etc.  Jen is the primary practitioner I see and I love her with my whole, whole heart.  She started me on a regimen of daily herbs to strengthen my body and help balance it out to make it a hospitable home.  The herbs cleared up my skin, gave me more energy and an improved sense of well being.  Acupuncture makes me stoned :) and completely relaxed, at peace and I feel I am in contact with a plane just above this world during treatments.  I feel every little twitch, tingle, shiver and twinge as my qi gets moving and balance restored.  I leave feeling like myself again.  I lost my ground in February, feeling completely unlike my true, genuine self.  I'd look in the mirror and wonder who the hell was looking back at me.  I had become utterly desperate in the fight to become pregnant that I was losing myself.  I was losing my silly, positive, happy self. Life is too damn short for that monkey business.  I am a child of God.  I am a cancer survivor.  I am a daughter, a sister, a wife and I feel I am a mother, I just don't happen to have any children quite yet. :) I have so much to be thankful for and this roller coaster knocked me off my feet for the last time.  I feel strong now.  I feel like I am doing everything I can to help my body.  I feel empowered.  Regardless of whether or not we become pregnant because of acupuncture, herbs, nutrition etc, at least I am cherishing and honoring my body.  I will feel strong regardless.

We did another round of IUI in February.  This time, no drugs.  Just acupuncture, herbs, vitamins, healthy eating and blood work and ultrasounds for monitoring from Dr Wood Molo's office.  No luck again in February, but research shows that 3+ months of acupuncture is needed for fertility improvement.  IUI has a success rate of just over natural conception, around 15-20% chance of pregnancy with each insemination.  Acupuncture can help raise those numbers, but really, they are just numbers.  If I had listened to numbers in 2003, I would not be typing this...with my pitiful 20% chance of survival (Fuck you, Mayo Clinic handbook, you made my mom have a breakdown!) Surviving cancer puts this infertility bullshit in perspective, it really does.  

My traditional chinese herbs.  6 scoops of nasty soil smelling powder in hot water, 2 times daily.  Definitely have to plug my nose and chug it.  Dry heaves, no doubt.

Looks like coffee, tastes like dirt and ass.

Acupuncture points and meridians

Needlin' up