eight years of gratitude

Tomorrow marks eight. whole. years. since I was diagnosed with acute myeloid leukemia.  There are no words to accurately capture my feelings on the experience.  It changed my entire being.  Going through hell, making it through to the other side and looking back with disbelief, shock and gratitude is a mind blowing, soul changing experience.  I am grateful for my beautiful mother who was with me every step of the way.  I would not have made it through (or laughed so much in the face of adversity) without her. I am grateful for my family, friends and the kindness of strangers who supported us.

What a difference eight years makes....

The beautiful thing about eight years passing is today, this weekend, each and every day is just a normal, boring day.  We (Mom and I) would pray for 'boring' days in the hospital.  Uneventful days with stable vitals, normal labs, peace and quiet.  Each ordinary day since then is an absolute blessing.  

May you and yours stop for a moment this weekend to recognize and appreciate the beauty of a normal, boring day.  To everyone who has supported us over the years, thank you from the bottom of my very happy heart.  Health is your greatest wealth.  I can't believe how lucky I am.  God is good.  I am blessed and thankful that my family, friends, amazing doctors and faith in God helped me through it all.

***If you or someone you know is a young adult needing support after a cancer diagnosis please visit some organizations that do amazing work and helped make me who I am today***:

Stupid Cancer 

The SAMFund

Fertile Hope

Planet Cancer

Everything Changes

And one more very important message before you go....

a get well wish

...for my oldest and dearest friend, Stephanie.  She's been through one hell of a week, in and out of the hospital for what doctors believe is an episode of multiple sclerosis.  Stephanie is the kindest, most loving, and trustworthy person I know.  We can go days, weeks, months without talking, yet feel as if no time has passed at all.  She is an amazing friend, mother, sister, wife, daughter, teacher and I am in awe of how strong she is throughout this challenge.  May the new year bring renewed health, peace and love for my angel of a friend.  

P.S. Stephanie is the FUNNIEST person I know and we can't help but nearly pee our pants when we get together.  We can't take a serious picture to save our lives.  See below :)  

I love you, Steph! I will always be here for you, no matter what.  You are so strong, so beautiful and you can overcome any obstacle thrown at you.  I believe in you!

thankful

Happy Thanksgiving to all.  I am blessed beyond measure.  Good health, amazing friendships both old and new, loving family, fulfilling career, angel of a husband....I am grateful for my blessings on Thanksgiving and every day.   May this Thanksgiving bring you and yours a renewed sense of perspective, gratitude and peace.  Love to all.

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live in it

It's been a challenging few months (few years, actually).  We're struggling to start a family and it's hard to remain grounded and maintain perspective at times.  I've accepted that this process could take another month or another year and a half.  We don't see what is in store ahead for us.  So, we've decided that we still need to find joy in each day.  We still have to have fun, rejoice together, laugh together, make the most of each and every day.  I don't want to look back on my twenties and feel sadness or regret that we let the process of trying to conceive and struggling with infertility steal the joy from some of the best years of our lives.  Life is too short for that silliness.  Sure, I'm struggling.  Sure, we have our down days.  But at the end of the day, God is too good.  Life is too short.  Our family and friends are too precious to us.  We are too blessed to let our lives pass us by.  So we choose to live in it.  I hope you do the same.  Even when it's hard. 

“I’m not telling you to make the world better, because I don’t think that progress is necessarily part of the package, I’m just telling you to live in it. Not just to endure it, not just to suffer it, not just to pass through it, but to live in it. To look at it. To try to get the picture. To live recklessly. To take chances. To make your own work and take pride in it. To seize the moment. And if you ask me why you should bother to do that, I could tell you that the grave’s a fine and private place, but none I think do there embrace. Nor do they sing there, or write, or argue, or see the tidal bore on the Amazon, or touch their children. And that’s what there is to do and get it while you can and good luck at it.”

                                                                                                                                                          

Quote courtesy of one of my favorite authors, Joan Didion... Quote found on one of my favorite blogs, Marvelous Kiddo

let's go hawks!

Last Friday, I had a surprise date in the works for my awesome husband.  It's been a hard few weeks, months, year and I wanted to thank him for all his support!  I took him to this delicious barbecue place in the West Loop, Porkchop.  It was featured on Chicago's Best and it was yummy!  Fried chicken, pulled pork, YUM!  At dinner, I gave him a card with instructions for the night. 

Instructions were:

Step 1: Check trunk...I packed something for you.  (I packed his Blackhawks hoodie, shirt and hat).

Step 2: Drive down Madison Ave. (The suspense is killing me!)

Step 3: Park at the United Center.....

We're going to the HAWKS game!!!!

Dan was so surprised and so excited! So was I!  Here's some great pictures from our amazing surprise date! Hawks whooped it up, beating the Flames 4-1.  We got to do the goal dance 4 times! YEA!

it's that time of year AGAIN!

I'm already thinking about Christmas cards!  I'm crazy!  I love doing holiday cards and love receiving new photos from family and friends each season.  I save every one and love looking back over the years.  Here's a few Shutterfly cards that I love:

I can't choose!  Head on over to www.shutterfly.com to check out their amazing holiday card selection!

happy anniversary to my handsome groom

Four years ago today, I married my best friend.  My whole world.  It was a perfectly bright, sunny, HOT day much like today.  I am mindful of what a blessing our marriage is and how lucky we are to have one another.  I pray this year is filled with strength, connection, renewed faith and love in one another.

I love you!  You are the wonder that is keeping the stars apart.....

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in
my heart) i am never without it (anywhere
i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)
                                  i fear
no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) i want
no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

e.e. cummings