one more thing...

I don't wanna brag, but I am one lucky lady.  Dan is an amazing husband, more than I could ever ask for.  We've been through a lot together in just over 4 years of marriage and I wouldn't want to travel this journey with anyone else.  Just an acknowledgment to the universe for blessing me with my best friend and soul mate.  

I mean, just look at this handsome fellow....

Thank you, Dan...You are the best husband ever.  I love you forever.

long time, no see - randoms & updates

Sorry, friends! This last month and a half slipped away, with the holidays and all.  Happy New Year!!!

May 2012 bless you with peace, fulfillment and love.

December 18th we went to another Hawks game this season! We are loving on our Hawkie Hawks!!!  I love Stalberg & Hossa & Toews, oh my!!!  My mom was awesome enough to buy us tix again and we all went to a fabulous game where the Hawks got the win.  We brought along Jason and Heidi.  It was Heidi's first game!!!

Now on to Christmas!  Christmas was amazing.  Very relaxing, didn't have to work (YEAH!), spent time with my favorite people on earth.  Here's some pics from Christmas:

Nothing says Christmas like a bow and arrow

My handsome brody

Love this kid

Love my hat from my Uncle Kiki

Most of the Bruno gang

My Gramma's baby...don't be jealous of her purse

Mama & Papa Merk

Snuggles for the mama

New Years Eve and Day I was working, but had a fun, low key dinner and NYE celebration at the Fullers house.  We had a blast.  I promise we went out on New Years, I just forgot to take pics :)

Dan had a relaxing Christmas break off from school.  We both have been fighting yucky virus/cold bugs the past few weeks.  We've been glued to the couch all week, coughing up a storm.  Hopefully we'll be back to our good old selves soon.  

Random happy thought....I am SO happy for my lifemate, Mindy.  She has found the love of her life, also named Dan and I could not be happier for her.  Seriously, my heart melts every time I hear her smiling on the other end of the phone.  Even better, Dan has a midwest connection and family in Illinois!  That means visits to Chicago!  YEAH!!!  Look at how cute these kids are:

Family building update....

December was a no go.  Oh well.  We started fertility injections in November (Ovidrel one week apart).  November, no luck.  We tried different fertility injections in December (Follistim, Ganirelix, Ovidrel, for those playing at home...)  Luck! But a little too much of a good thing.  I took the teeniest, tiniest dose of Follistim, to help encourage a heartier ovulation, with healthier estrogen levels to sustain a pregnancy.  I am lucky enough to ovulate on my own, so I just wanted ONE healthy follicle to be fertilized.  Well, my mom always said I was an overachiever and BAM!  10 eggs.  Yup. 10.  Octomom meet Decamom.  6 on the left.  4 on the right.  At least 4 very mature follicles with 6 strong ones as well.  We were instructed to not even go near each other.  Seriously.  It would have been a clown car....a complete disaster if more than one had fertilized since my uterus is not equipped to hold more than one.  (Hence the photo above...) All jokes aside, the doctor and nurse practitioner both brought up selective reduction and I did not want to even have that conversation.  It was not worth the risk to jump in and hope 4 eggs didn't fertilize and deal with the repercussions later.  We abandoned ship, a wise choice, and will keep moving forward.   When the 10 follicles ovulated, it was awful.  A good ol' case of ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome.  Look it up, and you wouldn't wish it on your worst enemy.  

 Our plan was to do IUI this month, but my sweet fellow had a fever for wayyyy too many days and probably cooked our little babies.  And, the case of hyperstimulation syndrome left behind many ovarian cysts which have interfered with normal hormone production.  One step forward, two steps back.  Oh well, I fully, completely, even in my darkest days, believe that God is good, the universe will bless us with a healthy pregnancy and fat happy baby.  So, we'll see.  Just keep swimming, right?

Anyway, one of my goals for the New Year was to blog more, I've been slacking...So far, not so good :)  I'll try to keep up!  Wishing everyone a healthy and happy January.  May the hope of Spring get us through the chilly months.  

eight years of gratitude

Tomorrow marks eight. whole. years. since I was diagnosed with acute myeloid leukemia.  There are no words to accurately capture my feelings on the experience.  It changed my entire being.  Going through hell, making it through to the other side and looking back with disbelief, shock and gratitude is a mind blowing, soul changing experience.  I am grateful for my beautiful mother who was with me every step of the way.  I would not have made it through (or laughed so much in the face of adversity) without her. I am grateful for my family, friends and the kindness of strangers who supported us.

What a difference eight years makes....

The beautiful thing about eight years passing is today, this weekend, each and every day is just a normal, boring day.  We (Mom and I) would pray for 'boring' days in the hospital.  Uneventful days with stable vitals, normal labs, peace and quiet.  Each ordinary day since then is an absolute blessing.  

May you and yours stop for a moment this weekend to recognize and appreciate the beauty of a normal, boring day.  To everyone who has supported us over the years, thank you from the bottom of my very happy heart.  Health is your greatest wealth.  I can't believe how lucky I am.  God is good.  I am blessed and thankful that my family, friends, amazing doctors and faith in God helped me through it all.

***If you or someone you know is a young adult needing support after a cancer diagnosis please visit some organizations that do amazing work and helped make me who I am today***:

Stupid Cancer 

The SAMFund

Fertile Hope

Planet Cancer

Everything Changes

And one more very important message before you go....

a get well wish

...for my oldest and dearest friend, Stephanie.  She's been through one hell of a week, in and out of the hospital for what doctors believe is an episode of multiple sclerosis.  Stephanie is the kindest, most loving, and trustworthy person I know.  We can go days, weeks, months without talking, yet feel as if no time has passed at all.  She is an amazing friend, mother, sister, wife, daughter, teacher and I am in awe of how strong she is throughout this challenge.  May the new year bring renewed health, peace and love for my angel of a friend.  

P.S. Stephanie is the FUNNIEST person I know and we can't help but nearly pee our pants when we get together.  We can't take a serious picture to save our lives.  See below :)  

I love you, Steph! I will always be here for you, no matter what.  You are so strong, so beautiful and you can overcome any obstacle thrown at you.  I believe in you!

thankful

Happy Thanksgiving to all.  I am blessed beyond measure.  Good health, amazing friendships both old and new, loving family, fulfilling career, angel of a husband....I am grateful for my blessings on Thanksgiving and every day.   May this Thanksgiving bring you and yours a renewed sense of perspective, gratitude and peace.  Love to all.

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live in it

It's been a challenging few months (few years, actually).  We're struggling to start a family and it's hard to remain grounded and maintain perspective at times.  I've accepted that this process could take another month or another year and a half.  We don't see what is in store ahead for us.  So, we've decided that we still need to find joy in each day.  We still have to have fun, rejoice together, laugh together, make the most of each and every day.  I don't want to look back on my twenties and feel sadness or regret that we let the process of trying to conceive and struggling with infertility steal the joy from some of the best years of our lives.  Life is too short for that silliness.  Sure, I'm struggling.  Sure, we have our down days.  But at the end of the day, God is too good.  Life is too short.  Our family and friends are too precious to us.  We are too blessed to let our lives pass us by.  So we choose to live in it.  I hope you do the same.  Even when it's hard. 

“I’m not telling you to make the world better, because I don’t think that progress is necessarily part of the package, I’m just telling you to live in it. Not just to endure it, not just to suffer it, not just to pass through it, but to live in it. To look at it. To try to get the picture. To live recklessly. To take chances. To make your own work and take pride in it. To seize the moment. And if you ask me why you should bother to do that, I could tell you that the grave’s a fine and private place, but none I think do there embrace. Nor do they sing there, or write, or argue, or see the tidal bore on the Amazon, or touch their children. And that’s what there is to do and get it while you can and good luck at it.”

                                                                                                                                                          

Quote courtesy of one of my favorite authors, Joan Didion... Quote found on one of my favorite blogs, Marvelous Kiddo

let's go hawks!

Last Friday, I had a surprise date in the works for my awesome husband.  It's been a hard few weeks, months, year and I wanted to thank him for all his support!  I took him to this delicious barbecue place in the West Loop, Porkchop.  It was featured on Chicago's Best and it was yummy!  Fried chicken, pulled pork, YUM!  At dinner, I gave him a card with instructions for the night. 

Instructions were:

Step 1: Check trunk...I packed something for you.  (I packed his Blackhawks hoodie, shirt and hat).

Step 2: Drive down Madison Ave. (The suspense is killing me!)

Step 3: Park at the United Center.....

We're going to the HAWKS game!!!!

Dan was so surprised and so excited! So was I!  Here's some great pictures from our amazing surprise date! Hawks whooped it up, beating the Flames 4-1.  We got to do the goal dance 4 times! YEA!